I am thinking of starting my own maternity wear business. Perhaps a T-shirt line with quotes like
"My due date is ___, so don't ask" or how about
"if I don't know you, don't tell me about your birthing experiences"! For some reason, I have been
bombarded this pregnancy by random
strangers who feel obligated in some way to give me
"advice" or go into explicit detail of their own special deliveries. At first, I was
flattered that I could still be mistaken for a first-time mom to be. But, it's starting to get a little
creepy. Tonight while grocery shopping, an overweight, middle-aged, greasy woman, felt so inclined to share her delivery experience with me. I tried to be polite.
It didn't work. I was at the other end of the cereal isle before she even realized I had started to walk away! She took a few quick, sharp turns to avoid the oatmeal and syrup display, and was soon back at my side to continue her story. By the time we reached the milk case,
vomit had already started to climb the back of my throat. Saved by the fresh aroma of oranges, I quickly proceeded to the checkout stand to get as far away from this woman as possible.
I just
don't get it? I don't go shopping in hopes that a seasoned woman will be there to
"enlighten" me on this aspect of life. If I really want details about other women and their
disgusting deliveries...I will turn the T.V. on and watch TLC!